One of the engineers I work with is Japanese:
Tomohito: Can you bring me a cramp?
Me: You have a cramp? Well take a break and stretch it out.
Tomohito: No, bring me one.
Me: How the hell am I supposed to bring you a cramp? And why for that matter!
Tomohito: A CRAMP! A CRAMP! BRING ME A CRAMP! (Makes hand motion of a clamp)
Me: Ohhhhhhhhh, Ok! I’ll bring the cramp.
Just a friendly warning for the future: if a Japanese man tells you there is an erection coming up, don’t get disgusted - it means he’ll be voting in the near future.
A conversation between me and a Pakistani taxi driver. He was asking me about my job:
Me: We had a lot of problems last week... It can be a real pain in the ass.
Cabbie: There problem with seat?
Cabbie: What is hurting your ass?
Me: (thinking....) Ohh! No no, I meant the last trip to the desert was really hard. Pain in the ass is just an expression. I’m not in any pain.
Cabbie: Ahh I see, my friend. Yes, my job also provides me ass pain as well.
Me: Well sitting in a car all day would do that to you I suppose.